Although most high school graduations were held over a month ago, many graduates have yet to send out their thank you notes. The congratulation cards are rolling in, but the thank you notes are still lying blank buried under all the cash and gifts. Parents feel like nags when there is a constant need to ask, "Have you written Auntie the thank you note for the money she sent?"
So, to alleviate the constant nagging, there are some keys to help the graduate understand the importance of writing notes for this occasion, but also making sure the graduate writes the notes to establish this practice as one that will hopefully follow her for the rest of her life.
Thank You Notes are Important
Thank you notes are a way to acknowledge someone's kind words, gift, or act of service, but are often overlooked or delayed. A delayed thank you note is better than nothing at all, but timely thank you notes show gratitude and help the giver feel appreciated and loved.
The graduation thank you notes might be the last time the parents have an opportunity to influence their young adult in this regard, since this marks a time when the child moves out into the world more independent and less reliant on parents.
The worst thing parents could do is ignore the unwritten thank you notes or write the notes themselves. This breeds co-dependency and lack of responsibility at a time when leading the child towards independence should be the primary focus.
How to Get the Graduate to Write the Thank You Notes
Motivating the note-writing may be one of the hardest things a parent has to do, but here are a few suggestions to get the notes in the mail:
- Make a print-out of the names and addresses of those people who were sent invitations / announcements and give to the graduate so that he or she can keep track of who sends money and gifts.
- Purchase return address labels, blank note cards, and stamps as a gift to the graduate.
- Write a sample thank you note as an example of the content of the letter.
As a last resort:
- Hold the checks, cash, or gift in a safe place until the note is written, posted, and mailed.
- Limit social activities, television, and computer time until the notes are complete.
Sample Thank You Notes
For someone they don't know well:
Dear __________,
Thank you so much for the gift that you sent to me to help me celebrate my graduation. I really appreciate your thoughtfulness and generosity.
I am planning on going to ____________ College in the fall and my plans are to major in __________. (or the graduate can include job plans, travel plans, etc.) I am really looking forward to this next phase. I'm sure my parents will keep you up-to-date.
Thank you again for sharing in my celebration.
Graduate
For a close relative or friend
Dear ______________,
Thank you for the gift you gave me to help me celebrate my graduation. You have been there for me so many times over the years, and this gift is just one example of that. (include a memory of something else that this person has helped with or shown support for)
I will keep you informed of all my upcoming adventures. (include a personal example of something upcoming, such as college, a trip, or an event).
Love,
Graduate
Keep Encouraging Teens to Send Notes of Thanks
Even though it may feel frustrating and a parent may feel like her child is in second grade again, don't give up. The transition time between high school and the next step, whether it is college or a new job, is difficult and exciting time. The self-centered focus is understandable, but doesn't excuse a lack of etiquette or lack of gratitude.
Although the graduate is usually over 18, and thus considered an adult, doesn't mean he or she always acts like an adult. Don't be afraid to implement the necessary consequences for not exhibiting an attitude of gratitude for the graduation gifts.
Paula Wilder - Paula is a freelance writer and speaker. She also teaches developmental reading and English at Guilford Technical Community College. She ...
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